Before They Flew to the Moon, They Talked About Dying

Before the Artemis II crew launched toward the moon, each of them sat down with the people they loved and said the thing most of us never say. Not about the mission. About what would happen if they didn’t come home.

Commander Reid Wiseman told Oprah in her podcast interview with the Artemis II Crew that he walked his kids through his will, their guardians, and where they’d spend their holidays. He called it liberating for his kids because they could stop wondering. They never had to lie awake guessing what their father wanted, because he loved them enough to take care of them and have the difficult conversation, while he still could.

That’s the gift hiding inside every end of life conversation you’ve been avoiding. It’s not relief for you. It's relief for the people who would otherwise be left standing in a hallway somewhere, guessing.

Mission Specialist Christina Koch told her husband this mission was the fulfillment of her life’s work, and that this should bring him peace if she didn’t return. Then she stopped herself. That wasn’t really why he should have peace. “It was because he loved me and I loved him”, and that was enough.

Sit with that for a second. Not the mission. Not the documents. The love. That’s what actually settles a family’s fear. The plan is just the shape love takes when you’re no longer there to say it yourself.

Pilot Victor Glover had this same conversation twice in his life, decades apart, once at twenty eight before combat, and again with his grown daughters before this flight. A different conversation each time, because his daughters had become different people, and so had he.

This isn’t something you finish once and file away. It’s something you keep returning to as your life unfolds with each major milestone.

Mission Specialist Jeremy Hansen took things a step further and asked the crew to discuss what would happen if something went wrong and they survived but knew they were not coming home. They made a pact they’d show up for each other. That they would handle it “with grace, and honor, and solemnness.” Nobody would have to invent courage alone, in the moment, with no plan to stand on.

Life is risky even without a rocket. 

You don’t need a launch date to deserve that same peace. Here’s what waiting actually costs. It isn’t paperwork left undone. It’s the people you love, standing somewhere you can’t reach, trying to guess what you would have wanted, carrying a decision they were never prepared to make. The astronauts didn’t avoid that by being fearless. They avoided it by having the conversation while they still could. 

If there’s a conversation you’ve been carrying, I would be honored to help you have it. 

Here’s the link to the interview: Oprah Podcast, Artemis II crew